Self-defense course

Module 2 — Voice, Boundaries & De-escalation

Lesson 16 of 50When someone won't leave you alone

11 min

Dr. Mira explains · Module 2 — Voice, Boundaries & De-escalation · Lesson 16

Dr. Mira explaining lesson 16: When someone won't leave you alone

Dr. Mira's selected Voice Calibration voice

Transcript

Hi, sweetheart. It's Dr. Mira. Welcome to lesson 16: When someone won't leave you alone. Escalating your response in clear, planned steps. Let me walk you through this properly, the way I would if we were sitting together. Your voice is a boundary. Loud, short, and clear is what works — long sentences invite negotiation. Use three parts: a firm word, a direction, and distance. 'No.' Then, 'Step back.' Then you move. Keep your hands up at chest height, palms open. That is not aggressive, it is a fence. It marks your space and it protects your face. If you need help, point at one specific person and give them one specific job. 'You, in the blue coat — call 911.' Crowds freeze; individuals act. On a 911 call, lead with where you are, then what is happening. Location first, always, in case the call drops. Say it out loud with me now, even softly. Muscle memory starts with practice, and your voice needs reps just like your hands do. You do not owe anyone politeness when you feel unsafe. Being rude is survivable. Staying in a bad spot to be polite is not worth it. Now here's how I want you to practice. Read the lesson once, picture yourself doing it, and then do it for real one time today. One repetition is enough to start. If it feels awkward the first time, that's normal. Awkward means new, not wrong. That's all for this one. Watch it as many times as you need. I'm so proud of you for being here.

What this lesson covers

Escalating your response in clear, planned steps.

Module goal: Use your voice, posture and distance as your first and best defense.

What you'll be able to do

Escalate your response in planned steps when someone won't leave.

Key points

  • Three levels: ignore → firm boundary → alarm and move.
  • Never skip straight to shouting unless distance closes.

Step by step

  1. 1Level 1: no engagement, keep moving.
  2. 2Level 2: 'No. Back up.' at volume, with the palms-up stance.
  3. 3Level 3: 'Call 911!' and walk into a safe door.

Say this, exactly

  • No. Back up.
  • Call 911!

Common mistakes

  • Staying to win the argument.

New York City scenario

He follows for half a block. Level 2 fails. You go level 3 and step into the pharmacy.

Practice drill

Say the three levels in order, out loud, twice.

Quick check

What is level 3?