Module 2 — Voice, Boundaries & De-escalation
Lesson 14 of 50 — Setting distance with your hands up
12 min
Dr. Mira explains · Module 2 — Voice, Boundaries & De-escalation · Lesson 14
Dr. Mira's selected Voice Calibration voice
Transcript
Hi, sweetheart. It's Dr. Mira. Welcome to lesson 14: Setting distance with your hands up. The non-aggressive stance that creates space. Let me walk you through this properly, the way I would if we were sitting together. Your voice is a boundary. Loud, short, and clear is what works — long sentences invite negotiation. Use three parts: a firm word, a direction, and distance. 'No.' Then, 'Step back.' Then you move. Keep your hands up at chest height, palms open. That is not aggressive, it is a fence. It marks your space and it protects your face. If you need help, point at one specific person and give them one specific job. 'You, in the blue coat — call 911.' Crowds freeze; individuals act. On a 911 call, lead with where you are, then what is happening. Location first, always, in case the call drops. Say it out loud with me now, even softly. Muscle memory starts with practice, and your voice needs reps just like your hands do. You do not owe anyone politeness when you feel unsafe. Being rude is survivable. Staying in a bad spot to be polite is not worth it. Now here's how I want you to practice. Read the lesson once, picture yourself doing it, and then do it for real one time today. One repetition is enough to start. If it feels awkward the first time, that's normal. Awkward means new, not wrong. That's all for this one. Watch it as many times as you need. I'm so proud of you for being here.
What this lesson covers
The non-aggressive stance that creates space.
Module goal: Use your voice, posture and distance as your first and best defense.
What you'll be able to do
Create space with a non-aggressive stance.
Key points
- Hands up, open palms, at chest height — protective, not threatening.
- It also puts your hands where they can block.
Step by step
- 1Blade your body slightly, strong foot back.
- 2Bring both palms up, elbows in.
- 3Step back once as you speak, not toward them.
Say this, exactly
- “Back up. I don't want any trouble.”
Common mistakes
- Pointing or poking — it escalates and traps your hand.
New York City scenario
A stranger closes in outside a bar. Palms up, one step back, firm voice. He stops.
Practice drill
Practice the palms-up step-back in a mirror twenty times.
Quick check
Why palms open?